The Elephant Addict

An elephant that was addicted to heroin has passed his rehab treatment. Big Brother was fed heroin-laced bananas by illegal traders and became addicted.

Although cold turkey was out of the question, methadone, baths, and messages seemed to work wonders. He is way ahead of Lindsay Lohan, who continues to be moved from rehab to rehab!

http://www.news.com.au/mercury/story/0,22884,22333564-5005940,00.html

The Dope

Here comes the Father Of The Year!

A man is arrested for dealing cocaine in a drug-free school zone...with his 6-week-old son in the car. The judge sentanced him up to 5 years in jail.

The man, who has been in jail since May 11, told the judge that he hasn't seen his newborn since his imprisonment. The judge asked if it was the same one he was holding while dealing drugs. He replied that he wasn't holding his son during drug deals.

The brainiac told the police who arrested him that he didn't think he was endangering his son because he left him in the car while dealing drugs!

http://www.mcall.com/news/local/all-b3_2spillane.6016361aug29,0,6778985.story